Starving for Love Read online

  "Love," she murmured. Then she shook her head. Zombies were incapable of love.

  And yet, weren't legs and mermaids incompatible as well?

  Chapter Fourteen

  A war was raging within him. His chest was tight. His stomach was empty. He was starved — for both flesh and love.

  As hungry as he was, he couldn't stand the thought of eating another human. The idea sickened him, even as his body craved it. He now tried to avoid people as much as possible, afraid he wouldn't be able to control himself if he smelled their delicious meat, if he heard their heartbeat.

  But he couldn't live this way. Not for long.

  At first, he had continued to go into town to look for her, but he never saw the girl again. He thought of her without ceasing. If it weren't for her, he would still be a monster.

  Yet he remained a monster. Nothing could change that.

  Maybe he could change his fate.

  He abandoned the familiar shadows of the forest. The moon lit his path as he walked onto the beach, stepping forward until the tide tickled his toes, crept up to his ankles, touched his knees, soaked his chest, covered his mouth, submerged his entire body. Still, he continued walking forward and opened his mouth, breathing in the water, waiting for it to fill his lungs so he could end his hunger, and his misery, since love itself wasn't a comfort, not without her by his side.

  A minute passed, then another. He continued to breathe in the water, and yet he didn't die. He wasn't drowning.

  What was he supposed to do now? He didn't want to live — not like this.

  Several tiny fish swam by him. He didn't bother to eat them even though he was famished. What was the point? Maybe he could wither away into nothingness.

  A familiar thumping filled his ears. A heartbeat. His body reacted to the sound, and his mouth watered. He closed his eyes and held still until he couldn't any longer, and he whirled around.

  A half-man half-fish creature stared at him, a golden weapon in his hand.

  He could see the pulse of his heartbeat in the large vein on his neck. Although he wanted to lunge for the creature's throat, he refrained, struggling against his body's basest instinct. Spreading out his arms, he closed his eyes. If the creature had come here to kill him, he was ready to die.

  Time passed as he waited. And waited. And waited. When nothing happened, he opened his eyes again. "K-k-kill … m-me…" he managed to say. His throat burned when he tried to talk. It burned when he breathed. The only time it didn't burn was when he was drinking blood and eating flesh.

  "No," the creature said.

  "Please…" he begged. He dimly remembered a feeling, one that evoked tears, but he couldn't produce them, not that they would be seen in the water.

  "Who did this to you?"

  He frowned, not sure what fish-man meant. This time, he couldn't get out more than grunts and groans.

  The creature swam up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Yes, I see. That damn witch. I'm not sure how you got entangled with her."

  Her? The creature did not seem to like this her, so she must not be the girl he loved.

  The creature muttered something and waved the weapon around, swirling it near his right shoulder, then his left, then near his legs, and above his head.

  A numbing sensation filled his toes and worked its way up his legs to his torso, his arms, his neck, and his face. Dry, cracked skin healed itself, the gaping holes of missing flesh healed up, his broken nails healed, his teeth straightened, his hair untangled. The hunger burning in his stomach disappeared. The fog that clouded his mind cleared. All that remained was his love for Sirena.

  He remembered everything now — diving to find her, seeing her sweet face, hearing her promise to save him before he breathed his last, and the nothingness of death until a strange half-human half-squid thing appeared and changed him into a zombie.

  Oh, God, the people he had killed… The people he had eaten. What had he done?

  Kristian choked back a sob, and water filled his lungs.

  The merman in front of him waved his trident. Kristian's lungs burned for a second until his drowning stopped. He could now breathe under the water.

  "I'm sorry about that," the merman said.

  "How did you…" Kristian shook his head. "Thank you."

  "Think nothing of it." The merman waved his hand. "I have no love for Merlinasea."

  "Merlinasea?"

  "The sea witch. I could see her enchantment on you. What did you do to cross her?"

  Kristian hesitated. "Can I ask you a question? Then I'll answer all of yours."

  The merman's eyes darkened for a moment before he curtly nodded. "Go ahead."

  Kristian gaped at him, the realization that he was talking to a merman beginning to sink in. Could that crazy Blaise have been right all along about there something strange about Sirena — only instead of being a selkie, she was a mermaid?

  "Do you know… You have to. Don't you?" He was rambling and not making sense, not even to himself. "I-Is… Is Sirena here? Is she a mermaid? Is she okay? She… I…"

  The merman's face twisted into fury and rage. "How do you know of — of course. Now it all makes sense." He swam around Kristian in a tight circle. "How long have you known Sirena?"

  "Ten years."

  The merman snorted and pulled up short in front of Kristian. "And you knew she was a mermaid?"

  "Not for certain until you just said so." Kristian didn't know which part of this revelation shocked him more — that Sirena was a mermaid or that Blaise had been right. His mind was a blur, and he began to float as he forgot to move his legs to keep him in place in the water.

  "So you don't know where Sirena is?" the merman asked. "She's been missing for quite some time."

  Kristian opened his mouth to say "no" when the rest of his zombie memories returned, and with it came a fierce dread that made his chest ache. "That witch — could she use her magic or whatever on mermaids?"

  "Yes." The mermaid raised his white eyebrows. "Why?"

  "I think she changed Sirena into a…"

  "A what?" the merman roared.

  Kristian glared at him. The sea creature seemed protective of Sirena — too protective. "Who are you?"

  The merman shifted the trident so it pointed at Kristian. The threatening movement made Kristian suppose he wouldn't answer, but the merman said, "Her father. Who are you?"

  "Her … her friend." Kristian gulped. It felt wrong to say "friend" but he could hardly say "lover" to her father, especially considering Sirena didn't know how he felt. He cleared his throat. "It's nice to meet you. Sirena never mentioned you."

  He crossed his arms, his trident still pointed toward Kristian. "I would think not. I am not a man to be crossed."

  Obviously not. Sirena's father had to have magic himself to be able to lift a curse or spell or whatever the sea witch had done to him.

  "Sirena was changed into…" her father prompted.

  "A… She has legs now, but she doesn't look like herself."

  "What does she look like?"

  "Like a…" Kristian sighed, stalling. The water here was a darker color than he had ever seen. Several schools of small fish swam nearby, most glowing or radiating light, a rather majestic sight, more beautiful than anything he had ever seen on his dives. A few larger fish swam sluggishly by, but none paid them any attention.

  Kristian returned his gaze to Sirena's father, who was looking angrier with each passing second. The prince rushed to add, "Her back is hunched, her hair is always matted, her eyes are crazed, she walks as if it pains her…"

  "Is she ugly?"

  What a question to be asked, and by her father! Kristian coughed then nodded. Actually, the term "hag" came to mind, but he could never say that about his love. Even though she didn't look like herself, she remained his.

  "She must have given up her looks for legs. That's my guess at least," the merman mused.

  "Given up her looks?"

  "That's how Merlinasea ope
rates," Sirena's father explained. "She takes before she'll give."

  "What did Sirena have to give up to save me?" Love and devotion filled his heart. If Sirena had gone to such lengths as to give up a part of herself for him, then she must love him in return. His chest swelled with pride.

  "You needed saving?" The merman's tone was haughty, as if Kristian was a peasant and not worth his time.

  Despite his infuriating attitude, Kristian remained unfazed. "When Sirena didn't come to see me like she'd promised, I went diving to find her—"

  "I thought you said you didn't know she was a mermaid."

  "I thought she might be a selkie. Anyhow, I thought something might be wrong so I tried to find her. I got caught in a current and ran out of air and died. That witch must have brought me back, but she turned me into a zombie."

  Sirena's father tapped his fingers on his bulging bicep. "I'll forgive you for not knowing this, but I am the ruler of the sea. I am King Tritonion, and I deserve more respect than you are giving me."

  "Well, I forgive you for not knowing this, but I am Prince Kristian of Heroica." As King Tritonion did not look amused, Kristian hurried to add, "What did Sirena have to give up in order to save me?"

  "I don't know." He stared at something above Kristian and tilted his head.

  Kristian had a suspicion the king had a guess, but he didn't seem willing to share it. "Is there anything I can do to help her?" He would do anything, risk anything, give up anything to be by her side again.

  The king turned his back on him. "Don't you think you've caused her enough trouble? Leave her be."

  "But—"

  "I said let her be or else I'll do worse than turn you into a zombie." Sirena's father made no move closer to Kristian yet his form seemed much larger, as if he had ballooned to encompass a bigger body and longer fin.

  Kristian's jaw dropped. "You can't be serious."

  "I thought I told you to treat me with more respect!"

  "You can't be serious, Your Highness!"

  The king pointed his trident at Kristian, and the prince was no longer able to breathe underwater. He grabbed his throat and began to drown.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Sirena shifted her body to the left, swung her legs around, and stood stiffer than a rod, leaning most of her weight against the cane. She promptly fell, the cane clattering to the ground. It rolled away, out of reach.

  Her door flung open, and Blaise entered again, concern in his eyes. "Rena! I told you the doctor had to give you the okay first." He wrapped his strong arms around her, lifted her up, and placed her back into bed. "Now stay here."

  Sirena's legs ached. Both felt like swords, sharp and pointed and impossible to walk on. Numbness spread from her toes up to her hair, and she shivered despite feeling as if her body was on fire. "What's happening to me?" she tried to ask, but her words sounded like grunts of pain.

  "Rena? Are you all right?"

  Her body vibrated, shaking despite her trying to hold still.

  "You're … you're…" Confusion filled Blaise's face.

  Sirena stared at the mirror. A gasp escaped her lips as she watched her mirror self touch her face — her beautiful face, her black hair instead of the gray and white matted mess the hag had.

  She looked like herself again!

  "You are Sirena, aren't you?" Blaise asked. "I knew it! Why didn't you tell me?"

  "I—"

  "But if you're Sirena, then where is Kristian? And why did you look like a hag?"

  The mermaid opened her mouth to answer but instead let out a long wail. Her back arched, her head still on the pillow, her feet still on the bed. Flesh ripped open in various places along her body. Pus filled the gaping wounds. Her tongue deadened, and her sight blurred. Her thoughts grew cloudy, her last clear one was that she was changing yet again but not into a hag.

  Into something worse.

  Now, she was the zombie.

  ****

  Hunger. That was all she knew. Someone was in the room with her. His loud heartbeat sounded like the sweetest song she'd ever heard.

  The person was opening their mouth, talking, shouting, screaming — she wasn't certain. His heartbeat drowned out all other sounds.

  Going for his neck, she leapt toward him. He jumped back and ran toward the door. Somewhere deep inside, she hesitated. She wanted to eat him, and yet something was holding her back. Her hesitation allowed him enough time to flee.

  Growling with frustration, she stumbled around the room. He had closed the door behind him, and her hands and arms didn't cooperate well enough to turn the knob so she made another exit for herself — through the window.

  New wounds appeared on her arms from the glass, but she didn't care. She was free now. Free to find someone to eat. Her legs didn't want to cooperate, and to have any semblance of balance, she had to have her arms out straight in front of her. The sun shone down on her, but she felt cold, as if heat couldn't touch her now.

  A rock on the path destroyed her gait, and she fell. The stench of something smelly filled her nose. She sniffed and followed the smell to its source. A man sat near a building, rocking back and forth, his arms wrapped around his knees. He stank, needing to be dunked in the ocean, and he looked thin as if he hadn't eaten in several days. None of this bothered Sirena though — all she saw was food.

  The first bite was delicious. So was the last. Soon, the bum had been reduced to a pile of picked-clean bones.

  She wiped blood from her chin and glanced up at the sun. For a second, she felt both warmth and full. Then the moment passed, and she awkwardly got to her feet as hunger once again claimed her. Time to find another meal.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Small black specks swam in front of Kristian's vision. His first death by suffocation had been quick and somewhat painless because he had accepted his fate. But this drowning he struggled and fought against. Kristian had no way to save himself. He was going to die. Again. For real this time.

  The prince glanced toward the shore, to where his love was, wanting his last thought to be of her.

  A sudden sharp jab brought his attention back to the king, whose trident was stuck in Kristian's right shoulder. He winced, gasping, filling his lungs with water. The king removed the trident and knocked it onto the top of Kristian's head.

  That instance, the water fled his lungs, and he could breathe again. He gasped and choked and drank oxygen from the water until he caught his breath. "Thank you."

  The king grunted. "Didn't do it for you," he muttered. He sighed, his eyes still stormy. "She loves you more than me."

  Kristian shook his head. "No, I'm sure she loves you."

  "She always disobeyed me. Running off to the surface to spend time with you, a human of all creatures! If others were to start believing the legends about us, our lives would be in danger."

  "I think she wanted me to know who she was, but she never told me. Surely because it would be against your wishes."

  "She never told you about me. Just how well can you know her?"

  The king had a good point, but Kristian countered, "I know lines form between her eyebrows when she's deep in thought. I know how to make her smile, how to get her to laugh. Her being happy gives my life meaning." He began to give into a new fantasy — one where he could be in the castle with the one he loved. A large grin stretched across his face. "You saved me… Could you save her? Give her back her looks? Or would that mean—"

  The king snorted. "You only profess to love her. You want her to be a trophy."

  "No, Your Highness. I am more than willing to marry her as she looks now, but I don't want her to have to give up anything for me. I am so grateful I'm still alive, and I owe my life to her."

  The marine king grunted.

  "And you, too, of course."

  The king of the sea twirled his trident, at first slow but then faster and faster until it blurred and Kristian couldn't see which end was the points and which was the bottom. It shimmered into a golden reflective su
rface, almost like a gold mirror, and Kristian gasped when she appeared — in all of her beautiful radiance.

  Without conscious thought, he swam forward and reached out to touch her but before he could, her appearance distorted and changed into a grotesque monster.

  "Is that how I looked?" he asked, horror coloring his voice so much that he couldn't recognize it.

  "Yes. It appears that my saving you has condemned Sirena to your fate."

  "You have to do something!" Kristian's chest grew so tight it hurt to breathe.

  For the first time, the strong and impressive Tritonion appeared more like a terrified father than a powerful king. "Merlinasea foresaw that I might get involved. She added curses to her enchantments…" He shook his head and narrowed his eyes. "I can't risk returning her to her natural form. It could kill her." The king glowered at Kristian. "Or you for that matter."

  "Is there anything I can do?" Kristian asked eagerly. "Please let me help!"

  "You've done enough damage. I saved your life, and that is all the help you'll get from me. Go back to your castle, Prince Kristian. Leave my daughter be. Do not seek her out. Do not ever talk to her again."

  The king whirled around and swam away, his fin slapping against the waves, propelling himself forward. The prince didn't hesitate and was grateful the king didn't seem to notice he was being tailed. After all Sirena had done for him, Kristian wasn't about to sit around and do nothing, nor was he willing to never see or talk to her again. Surely she loved him, if she had given up so much for him. The thought filled his heart with joy even as it ached with the misery she must be going through right now, remembering all too well the agony and despair he had first felt when he had awoken as a zombie.

  Thankfully, the ruler of the sea didn't swim far before heading into a cave. Otherwise, Kristian would never have been able to keep up. The marine-dwelling place gave Kristian the creeps, but he followed the king inside. Several sharks and eels guarded nearby, and he tucked his body into a crevice in the wall.